This is it!

So tomorrow is the big day. Can you believe it? All of the waiting, the doubt, the hard's been leading to this. My book is going to be out there. The whole world will finally be able to read it. And anyone who ever thought that I'd never actually finish a book will have to eat some serious crow. 

But I know what everyone is going to ask me...How do I feel? Am I excited? Nervous? I'm not anything. Honestly. I thought I would cry or jump with glee. But I'm just kinda like, "yeah, it's a thing". I'm happy, but I'm not over the moon about it and I'm not nervous. I have a lot of faith in my book. I know that some won't like it and I'm ok with that. I love my story, I think it's great and I believe that the majority will love it too. I'd rather stay in that frame of mind rather than fearing the worst--which would destroy me.

I do have a couple theories as to why I'm not excited though. First, I've always known this would happen. I was always going to be a writer and I was always going to publish books. I think the excitement may come if I ever reach a successful place with my writing. If I can feed, clothe, and shelter myself because of my books--then I think I'll weep from happiness.

Second, there's a chance that it doesn't feel real to me. I haven't held the book in my hands. I've created this digital mass of words, but to me it's not a real thing. I'm not even sure if I'm being clear here. Maybe when the paperback proof arrives and I finally see it, real and existing--maybe then I'll be overcome. But that's not supposed to arrive till the 29th (ugh) of this month, so we've got some waiting to do.

But for now, I guess I'm just content. My life is moving forward. I'm in a good place, centered directly in my chosen path. The second book is steaming steadily into the halfway marker of the first draft and I feel confident in its 2015 release. So...I'm good. I'm genuinely happy :) -Lindsay Mead

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