Thursday, December 3, 2015

Trying To Do It All... But Failing

It's 2am and I'm thinking that I really need to go to bed, because tomorrow I need to be up early. I'm going to the museum with my mother to see the new King Tut exhibit. Yeah, I'm hella excited about it. However, I've thought very little about it tonight. Instead my mind is continually going over the gazillion things that I need and want to do.

Let me see if I can quickly list all of the things that I'm trying to accomplish in any given day: Writing/editing 2 books, book marketing, a daily YouTube vlog, a topic video on my author channel, dieting, exercise, active social media accounts, blog posts, updating blog features, and reading. That's just the average stuff. That doesn't include things like Christmas shopping, decorating, gift wrapping, or anything seasonal such as that. Maybe that seems like a lot to you, or maybe it doesn't, but to me it is.

I suffer from two personal issues: procrastination and...Oh let's just call it being overwhelmed. I tend to bounce between the two. It's so easy to put things off--just 5 more minutes, 30 more minutes...I'll get to it after this movie. Before I know it, I've got 4 hours before bed and only enough time to do a couple things.

Then there's the being overwhelmed part. I really want to work on this side book...Oh but I should work on The Beauty first...but then I've got to do something interesting for the vlog...Of course, if I don't exercise now, I likely won't later...

See how that works? The cycle normally goes on longer than that until I come full circle. At that point I usually fold up and watch a movie instead of doing anything constructive at all.

Essentially if I can't do it all, than I'll choose to do nothing.

These two issues have been my problem for ages. It's incredibly frustrating. I keep telling myself that I'll be better tomorrow. Often that's not the case. If it is, it doesn't last to the following day.

I often look at authors who run successful blogs and publish at least four books a year or I look at popular youtubers who post interesting videos every week/day while running side business--and I am in awe. How do they do it? How do they juggle it all and never feel overwhelmed? How do that do it all and keep the job from becoming "the job"? I aspire to be them and also think that I never can be.

I have great ideas, but I lack ambition and discipline. I'm more the philosopher type than the inventor type. Meaning that I'd like the spend the day staring at the sky and contemplating what could be; as opposed to those who spend the day making their thoughts a reality.

There are a couple things that I'd like to do to change this quality about myself. One is to take better care of myself. I recently juice fasted for a week. I noticed during that time that I felt more ambition. I just had this rare energy that made me want to get up and get doin. It was wild and wonderful. So I believe that if I continue to eat better and cleanse my body of toxic crap, this will aid me in my desired behavioral changes.

The second thing that I'd like to do is to take it all one thing at a time. Don't look at everything that I need to do all at once. Just pick one thing, do it, then move onto the next. That's why I'm writing this post now. I picked it, I did it, and I refused to think about the fact that I need to work on The Beauty or edit the daily vlog for tomorrow.

So that's where I'm at in my life. I'm trying to do it all--currently failing--but not giving up on myself just yet. If there is anyone out there that is actually reading this, I'd love to know how you cope with all that you have to do... -Lindsay Mead


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